Saturday, September 23, 2006

I believe in weird

Oh yes I do.

Consider this – I am about to go to London for the day on a train. I bump into a director I’ve not seen for five years. We chat on the train on the way down, exchange e-mail addresses and head our separate ways. Four hours later I am walking down a street in London town when I look through a window and see the same director drinking a coffee in a café. He points at me. I point at him. I enter the café and say.

“This is just wrong.”

We make predictable jokes about stalking and say goodbye again. Do you want to know what he’s currently producing? “Most Haunted” for living TV.

Three days later, I’m in London again at a friend’s party. Also at the party is a guitar playing stand up who I’ve worked with a few times. We chat a little and he leaves the party.

The next day, having stayed at the friend’s house, I hop on a train that will take me into the centre of London. I walk perhaps fifty yards along the train and pick an empty seat at random in a train full of empty seats. I look to one side to discover the guitar playing stand up from the night before sitting across the aisle.

Needless to say, I leapt upon him and staked him through the heart, cut off his head and buried it at a crossroads. It seemed the prudent thing to do.